What did we do last night that was yellow?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
