Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
