your room smells of hookers.
And success
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize