Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
