So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
