You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
