Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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