I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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