she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
