What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
