Screwed.edu
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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