They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
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Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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