I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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