Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
