Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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