So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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