capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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