I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
