The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize