I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
