I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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