I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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