I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
