You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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