I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
