i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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