I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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