We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
