Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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