New low: just hacked my moms facebook
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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