You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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