I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Operation Purity has been aborted
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
soo... how was my night?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
