Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize