eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
