I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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