We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
