Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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