Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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