Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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