Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize