Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize