Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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