Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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