I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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