Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
