hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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