where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
