We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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