I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
