Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
