you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
