i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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