he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
