Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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