Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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