Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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