I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
