I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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