I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
