grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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