I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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