My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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