weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
