When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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