May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just want to make out with him forever
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
